dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
