im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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