jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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