watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
