Your tits are I can't wait for
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
