he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
