I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
