Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
