I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
