If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
