i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
