Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
