my phone needs a breathalizer
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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