She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
