quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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