As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
