you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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