JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
