Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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