Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
