You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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