So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
