Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
