It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
