Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize