i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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