I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just forgot I was standing up.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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