I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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