I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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