there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize