i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize