Jerry, you need to find god
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
