I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
