I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she pinky promised me she was 18
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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