I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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