During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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