dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
