it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
