you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
