Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
