He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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