I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
