I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
