I wish I only lived at night.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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