Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
