U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I looked at my own cervix.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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