super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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