Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
