Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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