i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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