so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
