pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I pour the whiskey from now on
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
