I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
