I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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