Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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