You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
