my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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