sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
