Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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