love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
