its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize