Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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