You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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