She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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