You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize