im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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