i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize