Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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