Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Found the puke drawer
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
