How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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