Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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