The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
