I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize