my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
