Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
