Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
