highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
