Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
