Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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