Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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