my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
