Joe is yelling at the trees again.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
