I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
