He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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