the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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